It is difficult growing up different from everyone else, and being gay in Asian culture is no different. Growing up, there was nothing I wanted more than to fit in, but fitting in meant abandoning my identity.
Around the same time I began to understand my sexuality and come to terms with being gay, I also realized there is simply no room for diversity in a society that supports uniformity. I am an Asian Pacific Islander of Chinese and Filipino descent. And as a gay Asian born and raised in the United States, I found myself in an uncomfortable culture that combines strict Asian traditions, the American lifestyle and the stigma of being gay, all in one inferior reinforcement: I was less than.
I look at myself in the mirror only to be disappointed by my appearance—an introverted, skinny, four-eyed braceface with small eyes and dainty, effeminate features. I did not see the masculine, hypersexual confident male model I saw in the media and internalized, telling me what I thought I should be.
I was put to shame. I felt like a conundrum. I was rejected by my Asian culture for being gay and shunned by LGBT circles for my Asian heritage. The backhanded homophobic comments from my Asian family and the racist compliments from the gay community—including, but not limited to, “You’re hot—for an Asian.”—undermined my confidence and left me feeling isolated and alone.
I tried so hard to fit in this mold, only to be miserable. But as I grew older, it was through my advocacy work in the LGBT movement that I discovered a community that shared the same experiences as my own. Today, I have learned to see my authentic, beautiful self. I discovered that the truth to my identity is not to live a life that fits into the norm, but pushes against it. The flaws I thought I had were never imperfections at all, but rather flawless perfections that defined who I am. I now embrace my odd charm and awkward likeableness because they make me different.
The understanding of who I am, as both gay and Asian, has made me a strong person. The slow realization that I was not a nobody, but a “somebody,” taught me to love myself and to own my individuality. I have become a person who respects all people, regardless of any marginalized characteristic decided by society. Coming to terms with my identity has only fueled my aspiration to end racial discrimination and LGBT inequality, and for that, I will be forever grateful and happy.
Matthew Yeung is a GLSEN Student Ambassador.
People often ask me how I “knew” I was transgender. Some of my fellow trans folks have told me a few stories from childhood that answer this question- their parents once catching them wearing makeup, never wanting to play with dolls, etc. But the majority of transgender friends I have will tell me something different.
I was assigned female at birth. I grew up wanting to be a princess. I had (and have) a glorious collection of teddy bears. The first indication that I was queer came when, at eleven, I suddenly proclaimed that I was a lesbian. What followed was months of confused teachers and parents and my sixth grade self trying to wade through it all with my pride intact.
I ended up on a forum for queer youth sometime that winter. I forget the name of it now. It was only when I was filling out my profile that I discovered the function to customize my gender. I could be a boy, a girl, or genderfluid. It wasn't the most cohesive set of options but the inclusion of that one word - genderfluid - piqued my interest.
A few hours later I had searched through the deepest corners of the internet to find out everything I could about genderfluidity, but also general knowledge about transness and gender variance. I had known the acronym LGBT for years, I had heard the word “transgender”, but I hadn't dwelled on it for more than a moment.
After that day researching transgender identities, I could never look at myself the same way. I had never thought that I was unhappy as a girl, but I didn't think I was supposed to be happy with it- I thought I just was a girl and that was what life was going to be for me. I was always going to be called a girl and she and my birth name and I had no choice in the matter. Seeing the vague option for being anything but a boy or a girl awoke a desire in me I had never felt before, a desire to be the person I wanted to be.
That’s why when I heard of Facebook’s new gender options, I had to reread the news release several times before it sunk in. It was real, and it wasn't just three options like on that dinky site from five years ago, it was fifty. Fifty identities with which a person making their profile can align themselves. Fifty different opportunities for someone to feel at home in their gender presentation, when they had never had that option before.
I am ecstatic, not only for all the trans people who can now properly list their gender on this popular social network, but for all the people across the United States who have yet to find that term that encompasses who they are and get to be exposed to these choices and start asking- who am I?
There are issues, yes, with the roll out of these new gender options for Facebook. The othering of trans people; the minimal pronoun options beyond “he”,”she” and “they”; and the inherent risk of identifying oneself as trans on such a public platform, are just a few. But this step Facebook has taken is momentous, and a beautiful start. Even within many transgender communities the inclusion of non-binary people is ignored, and I expect that the options will be expanded as time goes on and become more comprehensive for all types of people.
Aiden is a member of the Transgender Student Rights Advisory Committee.
When I first became a GLSEN Ambassador, I had a hard time feeling supported by others around me. I live in a conservative town, so you could imagine that being a transgender boi didn't prove to make me very popular. It took me a while to become confident enough to show everyone who I truly was. It's been a long, hard journey, and I hit a lot of roadblocks on the way.
But I was lucky enough to have known another trans guy for almost five years now; he has helped me so much and made me feel like I wasn't so different from everyone else. He always had advice for me and has really taken care of me over the years.
Having a role model has made all the difference in my life, and I don't think I'd be as successful as I am today without him. So many transgender kids all over the world feel like somewhat of an outcast at some point in their lives. I believe that having someone to look up to could really make a difference to these boys, and may even save lives.
It's for this reason that I recently started an international collaborative channel on YouTube. I gathered a group of about seven guys from all over the world and created the first international female-to-male (FTM) collab channel. One of the guys on the channel is my brother, and one of the other guys on the channel I met online. As far as everyone else goes, I advertised on my blog and had people send me audition videos for review.
We have such a diverse and unique group of people, and I feel that by making videos and possibly mentoring one another and our viewers, we can create that same feeling of acceptance that I felt in having my trans brother in my life.
We have just started making videos, so now is the perfect time to start following us. We will be covering several different trans-related issues and providing tips on everything from binding safely to hormones.
The channel is called Gender Bender Bois, and we make videos Monday-Sunday every week. We hope you can check it out!
Dannie Dobbins is a GLSEN Student Ambassador.
February is Black History Month, and it makes me very motivated as an activist for LGBT rights. As a GLSEN Ambassador, I think it’s important this time of year to reflect on how we as a society treat other people regardless of their race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
As we all know, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. fought endlessly for something he truly believed in: equality and freedom for African-Americans. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a living inspiration, and now that he is gone, his legacy still remains today in society and within me.
In my early childhood I participated in a school play which told the story of Rosa Parks, and at that time we also learned about Dr. King through reading some of his inspiring speeches. This would be the first time I ever came across the story of Martin Luther King, and it was also the day that I found a new role model. Being so young and clueless at the time, I didn't know much about the real world, particularly the history of prejudice against African-Americans and how poorly they were treated.
However, learning about Dr. King taught me that it is very valuable to spread love and to treat everyone with kindness. This inspired me because growing up I was always a happy kid, and now that I am an adult, I can see that society needs so much improvement when it comes to treating all our citizens equally.
Dr. King was a strong believer in standing up for yourself and teaching others to do the same. Since I first learned about him, I have been inspired by how one man tried to change the world. I try to apply Dr. King’s message to my work as an LGBT activist by being open-minded, and treating people with kindness, equality and respect, even if they do not always treat me the same way.
Dr. King taught me to always be the better person, and influenced me to change the world one man at a time.
Dustin Gallegos is a high school senior and a GLSEN Student Ambassador.
Assembly Bill 1266, signed into law by Gov. Jerry Brown in September, took effect January 1, allowing transgender students to fully participate in activities, facilities, and programs based on their gender identity. An opposition group, Privacy For All Students (PFAS), collected signatures during the fall to put the matter before voters as a referendum on the 2014 ballot as an attempt to overturn the measure. According to a representative sample of the signatures collected across the state, PFAS came up 22,178 short of the 504,760 qualified signatures needed for the referendum to be placed on the November 4 ballot. However, a sample count between 95 and 110 percent of the target number triggers an automatic full count of all submitted signatures, under state law. Currently, counties are conducting the raw count, and county registrars of voters have until February 24 to complete their full check of all submitted signatures.
Here’s looking at AB1266: past, present and future.
Introduced in February 2013 by Assemblymember Tom Ammiano (CA-17) and co-authored by Senators Mark Leno (CA-3) and Ricardo Lara (CA-33), the School Success and Opportunity Act (AB 1266) makes clear the obligation of California schools to allow transgender students to participate in all school activities, programs, and facilities. It is designed to spell out the requirements of existing federal and state law in California statute so school administrators, educators, parents, and students understand their obligations and rights. Those requirements are that all students in California be allowed to participate fully in school so they can thrive and achieve academic success. It restates existing state law prohibiting discrimination against transgender students in public education and permitting students to participate in sex-segregated facilities and activities based on their gender identity.
While existing California law already broadly prohibits discrimination against transgender students, AB1266 makes sure that schools understand their responsibility for the success and well-being of all students and that parents and students understand their rights.
GLSEN and several coalition partners of AB1266 including Equality California, Transgender Law Center, Gay-Straight Alliance Network, National Center for Lesbian Rights, ACLU of California, and Gender Spectrum have been working over the past year to advocate and support for the passage of this legislation. GLSEN and its California chapters produced several action alerts and supported oral testimony from Eli Erlick, one of GLSEN’s Student Ambassadors. Thanks in part to these efforts, the bill passed through the Education Committee 5-2, the California Senate with a 21-9 vote and the State Assembly with a 46-25 vote. Once it moved to Governor Jerry Brown’s desk for consideration, coalition partners geared for a similar campaign to ensure he supported and signed the bill. On August 12, 2013, Gov. Brown signed the bill.
Opposition and Referendum
Unfortunately, the legislative process wasn’t over once the bill became law. After AB1266 became law, opponents, including an anti-LGBT coalition called Privacy for All Students, filed for a veto referendum to overturn the law. A referendum refers to a group that opposes the new law and is able to collect enough signatures within the statutory time frame to place that new law on a ballot for the voters to either ratify or reject. The minimum number required for a California referendum is 504,760 valid signatures of registered voters. The opposition submitted 619,244 unverified signatures by the November 8 deadline.
On January 8, California completed a review of a random sample of the signatures. The state does the scientific sampling so as not to expend unnecessary resources verifying every signature if it’s not necessary. The sampling led to a projection of 482,550 valid signatures. While the total does not reach the needed threshold to qualify, it is within the range that the state considers necessary to trigger a full recount.
The full count must be finished by election officials no later than February 24.
GLSEN and its California chapters will continue to work with state partners to ensure that all students in California have equal access to education opportunities, and that districts and school leaders protect the safety of all students. We will continue to engage our constituents, schools and districts to ensure that students and educators have the support needed to ensure that all California students are able to attend school without discrimination or harassment.
The Biennial Meeting of the Society for Research on Adolescence is being held in Austin, Texas from March 20th - 22nd this year. Will you be there? Members of GLSEN's Research Department will be! Here's their presentation schedule:
Hope to see you in Austin, but if you can only be there in spirit, be sure to follow @GLSENResearch!
We're excited to announce a Call for Nominations for our GSA of the Year Award! Do you know a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) or a similar student group that has accomplished amazing things to advance or address LGBT issues in their school this year? We want to hear about them!
The GLSEN GSA of the Year Award recognizes and celebrates a GSA for its outstanding work and commitment to advocating and organizing around LGBT issues in their school. You can nominate the GSA at your school or another GSA who has done great work that you want to bring to national attention.
GSAs are student-led clubs that help to ensure middle and high schools offer a safe and affirming environment for all students. GLSEN has supported GSAs for more than 20 years, and more than 4,000 GSAs are currently registered with GLSEN.
All nominations are due by 11:59pm ET on Friday, February 21, 2014. Only K-12 schools located in the United States are eligible.
Are you attending the 26th National Conference on LGBT Equality: Creating Change this week in Houston? Make sure to stop by GLSEN's table and workshops throughout the conference!
Here's a schedule of where you can find us:
When you are young and queer in Mexico, coming out is not an option.
I was born and raised in Durango, a relatively conservative state in which the mere topic of homosexuality is rarely discussed. Like most kids, growing up, I didn't know what being gay really meant. I was simply told that this was a very bad thing, a way for Satan to separate us from God, and that I didn't have anything to worry about, because I wasn't “one of them.”
As I grew older, homophobic slurs became a staple of everyone’s vocabulary. I never knew anyone who was out, and no one in my grade ever mentioned any sort of doubts about their sexuality. As far as everyone was concerned, we were all straight. During my time there, many of my teachers felt the need to express their opinions and it was not uncommon for them to say hurtful things about LGBT people. For example: “Even though you should be respectful, this is wrong and you should not do it.” Or: “Let’s face it; humans live their lives looking for excitement. Once you feel like you've tried everything and you are bored with your life, people become gay, which is why there are so many gay celebrities.”
This was widely accepted by my classmates. It created an extremely unsafe environment, where bullying and harassment towards members of the LGBT community were seen as normal and acceptable.
When I got to tenth grade, I decided to move to the United States, looking for a more diverse and accepting place to live, and to this day, that has been the best decision I have made. The first time I walked on campus, I noticed a bulletin board for my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance. I was very surprised by it, but I couldn’t have been happier. As I walked around campus, many doors had Safe Space stickers. Later that same day, I got to meet my adviser, who is an openly gay man, and I learned that he was just one of many in our school. These things may have seemed small for a lot of people, but they meant the world to me. I had never heard of anything like this before, but I immediately knew that I had finally found a place where I could be safe.
Today, I am incredibly grateful for both of my experiences. Being in Mexico was hard, but it taught me a lot about what it means to be queer, and it made me more sensitive to other people's identities and their struggles. It helped me become stronger, and gave me something to fight for. I will be graduating from Rutgers Prep this June, and I am really happy to be a part of this community. Attending a school that allowed me to be who I am helped me to form a strong identity, and to become a much happier person.
Paulina Aldaba is a high school senior at Rutgers Prep and a GLSEN Student Ambassador.